Oops, There Are Holes in My Story!

Losing My Way. Sooo, a funny thing happened on my way to an errand one fine day. The errand was at a new location, so I checked MapQuest and found the most direct route going south about 7 miles and then east for about 5. Easy-peasy even without a GPS in the van—except, it turned out there was a crawling stretch of construction. I completed my errand easily enough, but decided on a different route home to avoid the previous traffic bottleneck. I was into the next county before I realized I had driven too far north. I began to look for a thoroughfare going west, so I could head back toward home. The road I chose ended up at a T intersection.

Dead End. Not wanting to go any farther north, I turned left/south, only to find it ended up at what looked like the back parking lot of a two-story industrial building. What in the world was this place? I couldn’t find a sign for the business, and when I maneuvered my van to turn around, I saw a small road, kind of rural, off to the right. It was just asphalt to grass with no curbs like I’d seen in my childhood hometown, so I decided to take it. A short way in, however, something did not seem right. The road was only wide enough for one vehicle. What were drivers supposed to do if someone was coming from the opposite direction? There were lovely ranch-styled homes to my right and hilly, grassy terrain to my left. I looked for a driveway to pull into should I meet another driver, but oddly, none of the homes had driveways, just doors and picture windows.

Oops! Suddenly, two men in golf carts drove slowly past looking at me with odd expressions. Oh no, I was driving on a golf cart path! Embarrassed, I tried to look focused as if I knew what I was doing scoping out the greens like a groundskeeper. Then, a kid on a bike showed up coming toward me, and his eyes grew wide as saucers! He turned around and high-tailed outta there!

Footbridge Ahead. Still looking for a driveway, I realized I was seeing the back side of the homes overlooking the golf course. I kept driving forward wondering what to do, but now there was a small footbridge to cross! If I tried to turn the van around, the wide sweeping circle would ruin the grass, but I wondered if the van weight would collapse the little bridge. Should I drive over it quickly or slowly? I perceived the width of the van would fit and decided moving slowly over it would be safer. If the van collapsed the bridge, it would be hung up on both banks of the tiny creek. Thankfully, I made it over the bridge.

End in Sight. I drove over hills and curves repeatedly wondering when this nightmare would end. My armpits were sweating as I covered the entire length of the golf course in my van! Finally, I saw what looked to be a parking lot ahead and a gentleman with a company shirt in a golf cart. I stopped for help, and he was already smirking. “You’re on a golf course!” he chuckled. “I know that now; how can I get out of here?” He thought the van would fit through two yellow posts that bordered the parking lot.

Back in Familiar Territory. I barely made it through the parking posts to get onto the parking lot and make my way back onto a road. I immediately recognized the equestrian farms in the area and was happy to find my way home. Ya know what my errand was? Getting my driver’s license renewed!

I laughed and laughed all the way home!!

Hope that cheers you ’til next time. Feel free to share this–I won’t mind :)!